Armageddon

Our only hope is for a rock rendezvous mission to drill a hole deep into the sucker and nuke it at the core. Hence the urgent need to locate the world's best deep-core driller.

Big explosions and WWF-style characterisations make this perfect fodder for excitable 12-year-olds.

...a testosterone and adrenaline cocktail...

Yes, it's a testosterone cocktail, but at least it doesn't leave you feeling as though you've been tumbled around in a gem polisher for two-and-a-half hours.